Hey Lady,
Let’s have some girl talk today—the kind that might make you blush a little but will also leave you standing taller and feeling more powerful. I want to talk about something that too often gets swept under the rug, whispered about behind closed doors, or labeled as “taboo.” And that’s solo love—yes, I’m talking about self-exploration.
Before you raise an eyebrow or giggle, hear me out. For centuries, women’s bodies have been controlled, shamed, and silenced. We were taught that pleasure was for men, that “good girls” didn’t touch themselves, and that if we wanted to know our bodies, we had to rely on someone else to hand us the map. But love, here’s the truth: you are the map, and the more you explore, the richer your journey becomes.
So today, I want to unwrap this subject with you like a love letter—a little playful, a little powerful, and always rooted in empowerment.
Why We Still Whisper About It
Let’s be real. The stigma around self-exploration didn’t just appear out of nowhere. It’s stitched into the history of women’s sexuality. For generations, society said that women’s worth was tied to purity and modesty. Our bodies became battlegrounds for what was “acceptable” and what wasn’t. And somewhere along the way, we started believing that touching our own skin, learning what feels good, or giving ourselves pleasure was shameful.
But, shame doesn’t belong in your body. Your body is yours—it’s your first home, your lifelong companion, and your personal playground for joy, release, and discovery.
The Science Behind Solo Love
Let’s drop some truth bombs, shall we? Self-exploration isn’t just about pleasure—it’s about health.
- Stress Relief: Orgasms release oxytocin and endorphins—the “feel good” chemicals that ease anxiety and boost your mood. Consider it free therapy with a happy ending.
- Better Sleep: Ever notice how relaxed you feel afterward? That’s your nervous system saying, “Thank you!” It can help you fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer.
- Stronger Pelvic Floor: Yes, you can literally strengthen your pelvic muscles through regular self-pleasure, which helps with bladder control and even enhances partnered intimacy.
- Pain Relief: Headache? Menstrual cramps? Back pain? Studies show that sexual release can actually reduce pain perception.
- Body Awareness: Self-exploration helps you understand what feels good, which makes communication with a partner easier and more effective. No more faking it—because you’ll know what you want.
So, the next time someone makes a side comment about how “self-love” is indulgent or unnecessary, you can smile and think: Actually, it’s medicine.
Reclaiming Pleasure as Power
Here’s the beautiful thing: every time you take a moment to explore your body, you’re reclaiming something that was taken from women for centuries—the right to feel, to desire, to enjoy.
Solo love isn’t about replacing a partner—it’s about reconnecting with yourself. Think of it as lighting your own candle so that when someone else comes along, they don’t have to strike the match for you. You already know how to burn brightly.
And let’s not forget—pleasure is power. When a woman knows her body, she knows her worth. She walks differently. She speaks differently. She’s not waiting for validation—she’s giving herself the gold star.
How to Ditch the Taboo
If you’ve carried shame around this topic, it’s time to lovingly lay it down. Here’s how to start:
- Shift Your Language. Instead of calling it “dirty,” call it “self-love.” Instead of “naughty,” try “necessary.” Words shape our beliefs, so choose ones that empower.
- Create a Ritual. Don’t just rush through it—make it sacred. Light a candle, play soft music, or slip into your favorite silk robe. Let it feel like an act of love, not secrecy.
- Explore with Curiosity. Your body changes over time. What felt good at 20 might feel different at 40 or 60. Approach yourself with curiosity instead of judgment.
- Use Tools Without Shame. Vibrators, oils, lotions—these aren’t “crutches.” They’re enhancements, just like makeup or high heels. They don’t replace you; they highlight you.
- Celebrate the Afterglow. Don’t rush off to do laundry the second you’re done. Rest in the glow, smile at yourself, and remember—you did that.
For the Women Who Still Hesitate
Maybe you’re reading this and thinking, “Dee, I get it, but it still feels… wrong.” And love, that’s okay. If self-exploration feels uncomfortable right now, don’t force it. Start with baby steps: take time to lotion your body slowly, look at yourself in the mirror with compassion, or breathe deeply with your hands resting on your skin. Touch doesn’t always have to be erotic—it can simply be intentional.
The more you practice being present in your body, the more natural self-love will feel.
Final Heartbeat
Remember, you are not taboo. Your body is not something to hide, hush, or hand over for someone else to “unlock.” You are worthy of pleasure, worthy of joy, and worthy of knowing yourself deeply.
Solo love isn’t selfish—it’s self-care. It’s a beautiful reminder that intimacy doesn’t begin with someone else. It begins with you.
So tonight, light that candle, take a deep breath, and remember: the greatest romance you’ll ever have is the one you build with yourself.
With love and just enough mischief,
Dee Parris 💋
Your Romance Paramedic
